Breast Feeding 101

Many nursing mom's switch to this.





Without judgement, I completely understand why.


Although I am a pediatrician, I did not want to breast feed my baby. I know, having learned over and over again in medical school and then again in residency all of the reasons why women should breast feed.
I had heard the mantra "breast is best" over and over. Many of you know that breastfed babies have better immunity, tend to "bond" with their mothers and the books say, it is easier than formula feeding!

Regardless of all of this information, I had decided in my mind, at some point in medical school that I hated the thought of "me" breast feeding. I wanted everyone else to do it, all my patients and my friends. But, me, breast feed-- No Way! I mean no thanks. But, before my baby was born, I promised my baby's daddy (also a pediatrician) that I would at least try to breast feed.

The day arrived unexpectedly, and so did my first true test.

Day 0, hour 1 of my daughter's first day. I lay awake and asleep in my hospital bed to find my precious little daughter in my arms. It was time for her to eat.

She latched. She sucked, She drank. We did it! To be honest, the first time around, I was so dough eyed in love that I didn't really know what was going on.

And then, we got home and it started to sink in. She cried with hunger, she cried with exhaustion, I breast fed. But, I was exhausted and in pain from surgery. I was also overwhelmed by the new person in our home, yet for some reason I continued to breast feed. My little daughter lost weight the first week and was jaundiced. I worried she was not getting enough to eat, and despite that I continued to exclusively breast feed.

There it was. I had not given her any formula. Hip Hip Hooray!

But I still felt, well, not comfortable with breast feeding.

Despite that,I marched on. I continued to love, love and love my little daughter. But the breast feeding all I could express to others was, "they say, "breast is best."

so, at 3 months post partum I felt like this:

What job can only one person perform every 2hours, for 20-30 minutes at a time, 24 hours/day, 7 days a week for months and months at a time.
Breastfeeding. Only a mommy can do that.

This is what no one talks about. The challenges of breastfeeding. No coffee breaks, no bathroom breaks and certainly no meal breaks. How does anyone manage to take a shower, answer a phone call, or have a coherent thought in the middle of all of this. And I did not even mention the middle of the night feedings, diaper breaks, dirty laundry, oh yes, and grabbing a bite to eat yourself.
With all of this, it is no big surprise that most woman in the US don't do breast feed for long. Most women give up or wean before or around 6 months post partum.

All the while, that powdered white formula is sitting there, like a tiny while bottle of evil, calling my name, enticing me to pick it up and use it.

Some of my colleagues, wondered why I didn't give my daughter the occasional bottle of formula. But they just didn't know me in that special way. My obsessive compulsive tendencies weigh in and prevented me from going for the formula. If I was going to do something, I always do my best. And then was the other simple truth about me, if I tried the bottle of evil, a quick and easy shortcut, would I even be able to go back to breastfeeding?

So, I trudged on. Exhausted, and waking up every 2-3 hours to feed her all day and night.

As a mommy who has been exclusively breast feeding her baby for 10 months (no formula yet). I can say it ain't easy.

So why did I keep going? Because my daughter was thriving, and she was thriving so beautifully I did not want to give her any less than my personal best. I'd be lying if I didn't tell you there were many moments where I loved being the one person who she needed the most, for love, attention and her meals, but it went beyond just that. Something I just can't explain. With the combination of sleep deprivation and breast feeding, somehow, perhaps with the help of all of the maternal hormones still surging thru me, I was able to manage to wake up every day and be excited about seeing her and breastfeeding her.

In the end, I think that if someone had told me how much work the breastfeeding was, I might have been better prepared. Now, I hope you might be. But realistically, I don't think anyone can know, until it really happens.

As far as I can tell, I just passed my first test of motherhood, with patience, dedication, hard work and lot of love. Now, only many many more years to go.